Nice Guys Finish Last
by Ollie and Mochi
Summary: Oliver Kirkland was the world's sweetest Brit, but when the love of his life keeps dating all these tough guys, he decided he'll be everything she wants! 2p!England to Punk!2p!England. Based off of the song "Nice Guys Finish Last" by NigaHiga and Chester See. This is a 2p!England x Reader later a 2p!England x 2p!Japan.


_**Hello another story that will probably never get updated. So this song is based off of the song "Nice Guys Finish Last." By NigaHiga and Chester See. I obviously don't own the song or Hetalia. So enjoy! **_

Oliver Kirkland, friendly neighborhood sweetheart, was curled up on his couch in a TARDIS blanket with his favorite Doctor Who episodes playing, when his cell phone began vibrating in his pocket. Groaning softly in irritation, the strawberry blond fished the device from his place and clicked the answer button.

"Hello?" Complete disinterest laced his voice as he lazily pressed the phone to his ear. Who ever it was better have a damn good reason for interrupting him. Pressing his reading glasses higher up his nose, Oliver heard a familiar squeal from the other side.

"Oliver darling guess what! Allen, your tall, dark, and mysterious friend just asked me out! Ah, he's so cool! He's so strong and..." The [nationality] female continued to gush about her new boyfriend while the boy she was talking to dropped his phone, his jaw dropping with it. No, no, Allen would never betray him like this! The American knew [Name] was Oliver's long time crush, and said he'd never try anything.

With a broken heart and frustrated tears, Oliver decided enough was enough. Picking his phone up again, he ended the call with the still talking female and called up his long time friend, Flavio. After waiting a few seconds the line clicked with a cheery 'Ciao'. "Flavio.." Oliver sighed shakily. "I need a favor.."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure about this Oliver..?" The italian bit his lip as he played with the Brit's hair in front of the mirror. "You shouldn't change your entire life for one Ragazza."<p>

"I'm doing this. If she wants a bad guy, I'll give her one. Dye away." Oliver glared at his reflection with a blank face. His cheeks were slightly rounded from his never-ending consumption of sweets and his freckles stood out in comparison to his pale skin. Kind blue eyes stared back at him and strawberry blond hair mocked him. His usual attire of pinks and blues also gave him a sweeter edge. Soon, however, he would be all new. This was step one, new hair and clothes. Then he'd get colored contacts, make-up, and piercings.

Flavio sighed and grabbed the gloves and dirty blond hair dye he had brought over. Of course he knew Oliver would snap eventually, but he never thought the self-respecting Brit would stoop this low. "Oh well.. he'll look sexy." The blond Italian mumbled under his breath as he began the process of dyeing hair. By time he was done, a dark mop of sad-looking blond hair replaced the ever vibrant color Oliver once had. It was an awkward look to see him like this, but Flavio didn't hate it. "You look... good."

"Thank you Flavi!" Oliver giggled happily, but quickly slapped his hand over his mouth. No, no, tough guys didn't giggle or smile. They scowled and frowned.

"What's next?" Flavio cocked an eyebrow and rested his hands on his hips.

The Brit seemed taken back by the question but quickly regained himself. "Clothes. I need new clothes. Something tough." The way Oliver's cheeks puffed out as he thought didn't give him that 'tough guy' look, but Flavio had an idea.

"I got it! Punk. We'll get you a punk look and I'll help you act the part. Kuro is really good at piercings so I'm sure he'll give you some." Grinning triumphantly, the Italian grabbed his friend's hand and pulled him outside into the fresh noon air, the skies of London were grey as usual and it reflected how Oliver felt perfectly. As they walked around town, the newly dyed dirty blond was dragged into store after store to try on various clothes and accessories.

Once Flavio was satisfied with the new look, they made their way to Kuro's home. Time for the final step of his physical change, since Flavio talked him into keeping his eye color.

* * *

><p>"Kuro!" Flavio sang as he skipped inside the other's home.<p>

"What the hell do you wa-" Kuro's sentence fell short when he saw Oliver standing in his front entrance fidgeting and tugging at his clothes and hair. "What happened to him?" The Japanese male eyed the Brit up and down, liking what he saw.

"[Name] started dating Allen..." Oliver said, sucking in a breath. "And I need some piercings!"

"Uh... okay? Follow me." Kuro stretched as he began walking away, motioning for the duo to follow him. Hopefully he could get this over quickly and get back to his work, Hentai doesn't draw itself.

After a series of sharp metal being forced through his body, Oliver felt all of his afflictions throb numbly. Looking himself over in the mirror, he saw he had a ring on his eyebrow, multiple piercings littering his ears, a skillfully placed lip ring and a stud hidden away on his tongue.

He was ready now. He thanked Kuro and left, heading straight home and mentally preparing himself for what was needed of him. Oliver practiced lowering his voice and scowling. He used meaner language and kept his eyes cold. This would win [Name]'s heart for sure! He hoped..


End file.
